I have been trying to get Medicaid for over a year, I keep getting denied because I cant get to the local social service office during the hours they want me to be there. I live nearly 40 miles from them and I do not have anyone to help me get there. My partner works until 4 each day. I have requested a phone interview which I was told that could be done but for some reason they will not make an exception for me. I am also getting the same cold hostile attitude from these and every person I deal with to get myself some help. I have tried to speak with about 15 different agencies and 30 people and not one of them will help me. They all have the same cold hostility towards me. The behavior is actually abusive, sometimes these people will actually snicker as if to tell me that they want me to know what is going on and when I have tried to make complaints I get the same treatment form those who are in positions of authority to help. I do not know how this is being accomplished, but I am not stupid enough to believe that is this is just coincidental. Somehow the perpetrators have orchestrated this to such an extant that no matter where I go or who I speak to they already "know me" and give me the treatment. This is so evil and I am angry and feel hatred for these people. I spend an hour and a half each day praying and reciting 20 pages of Bible quotes that pertain to ones enemies and for protection. I feel as if God has turned his back on me and I am literally begging for help or intercession or just a real live human being who will at the very least just listen to me. I feel so sad and helpless and I wasn't going to come back here and post again and keep thinking that I have been followed here too. I cant trust anyone, and I know they know this. The fear I have of knowing that even before I start out to do something it has already been "fixed" I do not want anyone here to think for one second this is the rantings of someone who has made a mountain out of a molehill. This is so much bigger than I can even begin to explain, and I cannot for the life of me understand why God would allow this to happen for even one day. This is torture in such a way that the pain even though it cannot be measured in the form of a bruise, broken bone or a cut, hurts more than I can tell. I am in constant pain, my body feels racked all the time. I am young and healthy but I feel sharp pains and feel lethargic and sore all over with no explanation. My partner has a very good job with the Government, he is at times abusive towards me and tells me that I am crazy, and at other times I have asked him if he realizes what is happening to me and he will get a look of sadness on his face and tell me yes. I have no where to go, and this place I call home is the only place that I have for now. I am a captive in my home, this is like being in a NAZI concentration camp. I fear that this is going to get much worse, I can feel it. I read that those who are doing this kind of torture can read minds somehow and that the targets are usually psychic, I do feel like I can sense something bad coming. I know I am not insane, I know that this is all to break me, but I don't know if I can take this for much longer. Where is God, why would God let something this evil happen. Even physical torture victims get a break by passing out and those who are tortured to death eventually die. This has been going on for 20 years, when will this end ? I feel like someone will try and kill me and no one will even notice or care. This is the most evil thing, I never could have imagined that his world was so hateful and vicious. These are my words, these are my feelings, I am not being dramatic this is frightening me so bad my heart beats so hard all the time. I want God to punish those who are doing this and I want to watch while he does. Doesn't that sound sick ?
What is happening, I wish I had a definitive answer to make this all make sense. Nothing I can imagine could ever be this evil and corrupt in the sense of the corruption of a humans soul, This is exactly what makes me think that this is somehow biblical.